Monday, 1 September 2014
Great Quote
“The saint needed by each culture is the one who contradicts it the most.”
- G.K. Chesterton
10 Books You Must Read
Below I have listed the 10 most influential books upon my Christianity (besides the scriptures themselves). I have put them in order & I would say the top three stand out far above the rest - read them and you will be changed. Most are written by men out of this century, half of them prior to the 20th century & have stood the test of time. I will provide links for the online editions of these texts if available.
1. Desiring God by John Piper
A brief summary: God is most glorified when when are most satisfied in Him. The pursuit of God as the foundation of happiness - how commanding the glory of God as our purpose results in our ultimate happiness if He alone is our treasure on earth.
2. All of Grace by C H Spurgeon
Hands down the best book I've read on grace. This unwittingly introduced me to the doctrines of grace & I haven't looked back.
3. Man the Dwelling Place of God by A W Tozer
Many small messages from a man who walked with God.
4. Humility by Andrew Murray
Humility - the root of all virtue.
5. A Serious Call to a Devout and Holy Life by William Law
This book is somewhat catholic in its works emphasis but it still challenges Christians to a more devout life. Take it with a grain of salt. I would recommended it for mature Christians only who understand the gospel well. There is much good to take from this book - but at points it may emphasize self-effort above God dependance. Also at points he implies our works justify us (they don't). Again, this ones for mature Christians only, but an inspiring read despite its flaws.
6. Confessions by Augustine
I recommend the use of the Pie-Coffin or Boulding translations (both modern English) - buy it cheap somewhere. The online versions are in old english and are hard to follow.
7. Bible Doctrine by Wayne Grudem
You'll have to buy this as well. I doubt you can legally find a version to read online. The best systematic theology I have read.
8. Institutes of the Christian Religion by John Calvin
Many people hate on Calvin for the infamous Calvinism named after him. To be fair I would say most people think they hate Calvinism but what they are actually despising is hyper-Calvinism. Don't be fooled. His systematic theology shows the fight he put up against the catholic church during the heated years of the reformation - it is gospel & God centered not predestination centered. That said he does not shy away from teaching election as it is taught in scripture when it is required. Being God centered - he does rightly infer the reality of divine election - God, not man being the author of a persons faith. That is for another post though. He is eloquent, thought provoking & saturates his text with scripture. Highly recommended. If you hate Calvinism - I challenge you to read book 3 (his soteriology) & from scripture, find where he errs. Personally, I think he nails it.
9. The Heavenly Man by Brother Yun
The true story of brother Yun in China. An amazing account of how Christ transformed his life and his community, despite severe persecution from the government. God supernaturally intervening many times to save & preserve Yun.
10. A Prodigal God by Tim Keller
A rehashing of the story of the prodigal son - focusing on the elder brother, not the rebellious younger brother.
Sunday, 17 August 2014
Only One Life - C T Studd
“Two little lines I heard one day, Traveling along life’s busy way;
Bringing conviction to my heart, And from my mind would not depart;
Only one life, ’twill soon be past, Only what’s done for Christ will last.
Only one life, yes only one, Soon will its fleeting hours be done;
Then, in ‘that day’ my Lord to meet, And stand before His Judgment seat;
Only one life, ’twill soon be past, Only what’s done for Christ will last.
Only one life, the still small voice, Gently pleads for a better choice
Bidding me selfish aims to leave, And to God’s holy will to cleave;
Only one life, ’twill soon be past, Only what’s done for Christ will last.
Only one life, a few brief years, Each with its burdens, hopes, and fears;
Each with its days I must fulfill, living for self or in His will;
Only one life, ’twill soon be past, Only what’s done for Christ will last.
When this bright world would tempt me sore, When Satan would a victory score;
When self would seek to have its way, Then help me Lord with joy to say;
Only one life, ’twill soon be past, Only what’s done for Christ will last.
Give me Father, a purpose deep, In joy or sorrow Thy word to keep;
Faithful and true what e’er the strife, Pleasing Thee in my daily life;
Only one life, ’twill soon be past, Only what’s done for Christ will last.
Oh let my love with fervor burn, And from the world now let me turn;
Living for Thee, and Thee alone, Bringing Thee pleasure on Thy throne;
Only one life, “twill soon be past, Only what’s done for Christ will last.
Only one life, yes only one, Now let me say, “Thy will be done”;
And when at last I’ll hear the call, I know I’ll say “’twas worth it all”;
Only one life, ’twill soon be past, Only what’s done for Christ will last. ”
-C.T. Studd
Bringing conviction to my heart, And from my mind would not depart;
Only one life, ’twill soon be past, Only what’s done for Christ will last.
Only one life, yes only one, Soon will its fleeting hours be done;
Then, in ‘that day’ my Lord to meet, And stand before His Judgment seat;
Only one life, ’twill soon be past, Only what’s done for Christ will last.
Only one life, the still small voice, Gently pleads for a better choice
Bidding me selfish aims to leave, And to God’s holy will to cleave;
Only one life, ’twill soon be past, Only what’s done for Christ will last.
Only one life, a few brief years, Each with its burdens, hopes, and fears;
Each with its days I must fulfill, living for self or in His will;
Only one life, ’twill soon be past, Only what’s done for Christ will last.
When this bright world would tempt me sore, When Satan would a victory score;
When self would seek to have its way, Then help me Lord with joy to say;
Only one life, ’twill soon be past, Only what’s done for Christ will last.
Give me Father, a purpose deep, In joy or sorrow Thy word to keep;
Faithful and true what e’er the strife, Pleasing Thee in my daily life;
Only one life, ’twill soon be past, Only what’s done for Christ will last.
Oh let my love with fervor burn, And from the world now let me turn;
Living for Thee, and Thee alone, Bringing Thee pleasure on Thy throne;
Only one life, “twill soon be past, Only what’s done for Christ will last.
Only one life, yes only one, Now let me say, “Thy will be done”;
And when at last I’ll hear the call, I know I’ll say “’twas worth it all”;
Only one life, ’twill soon be past, Only what’s done for Christ will last. ”
-C.T. Studd
Sunday, 15 June 2014
The Nihilists Rant
Something intangible permeates life. The hum in a mans heart, every pointless day, trying to make sense of things. Trying to attach some purpose to the series of events that unfold in our ever so regular days. Frequently, they meld into one blur. The 9 to 5 grind. It devours us. Days come and go. We work to live, and live to work and then die.
Purpose. What purpose is there though besides survival? This world pursues 3 things: sex, money and power. All are appropriate if moderated, but if not, they are the causation of all pain and injustice in the universe. The most dangerous word I mentioned though was 'pursue'. Ambition. Touted as the greatest virtue amongst almost all classes and creeds of men. The ambition of man has destroyed so much. Soaring to tantalizing heights on the backs of others. Dog eat dog. Welcome to life.
I am a disillusioned soul. We live in an universal plutocracy . The rich have and always will rule at the expense of the poor majority and there is nothing anyone can do to stop this. Forget politics. Let them have their dose of power and wealth. Give me shelter and food and I will be content. "Whom have I in heaven but You? And on earth there is nothing I desire besides You? My flesh and my heart may fail me, but you oh God are the strength of my heart and my portion forever!" - Psalm 73
The things of this world are meaningless and bland. If I didn't know Christ I would have taken my leave from this worlds stage long ago. Without God - life has no point, no meaning and is of no use. Especially for common folk. The herd. Luckily this is not reality. Reality is, God. Christ brought light to what it is to be human. To love God with all we have and love our neighbour. Life will end, but really, that is just the beginning. Death is liberty from this life and body to be with Christ. We must endure to the end though for the glory of God. As Micah 6:8 states "He has shown you oh man what is good, and what does the Lord require of you but to do good, to love kindness and mercy; and to humble yourself and walk humbly with your God".
Walk with God. Sometimes life will seem pointless, sometimes you will feel like you have no influence or impact - live life anyway, talk anyway. Your reward, as a Christian, is from God alone. Work under His watchful eye, preach for the audience of one. "Why do you fear man who can only kill the body?" asked Christ. "I tell you who you should fear, fear God who has the power to kill both body and soul in hell". Fear God not man. Life is a limited commodity. Immortality belongs to those truly acquainted with Christ but not the majority that don't. Preach the gospel by any means. That Christ died to save sinners. This message alone is the reason we breath. Nothing else matters while billions are en-route to an eternal hell. No time invested in God is wasted. In fact, only the time invested in God is worth any value at all. Peace.
Purpose. What purpose is there though besides survival? This world pursues 3 things: sex, money and power. All are appropriate if moderated, but if not, they are the causation of all pain and injustice in the universe. The most dangerous word I mentioned though was 'pursue'. Ambition. Touted as the greatest virtue amongst almost all classes and creeds of men. The ambition of man has destroyed so much. Soaring to tantalizing heights on the backs of others. Dog eat dog. Welcome to life.
I am a disillusioned soul. We live in an universal plutocracy . The rich have and always will rule at the expense of the poor majority and there is nothing anyone can do to stop this. Forget politics. Let them have their dose of power and wealth. Give me shelter and food and I will be content. "Whom have I in heaven but You? And on earth there is nothing I desire besides You? My flesh and my heart may fail me, but you oh God are the strength of my heart and my portion forever!" - Psalm 73
The things of this world are meaningless and bland. If I didn't know Christ I would have taken my leave from this worlds stage long ago. Without God - life has no point, no meaning and is of no use. Especially for common folk. The herd. Luckily this is not reality. Reality is, God. Christ brought light to what it is to be human. To love God with all we have and love our neighbour. Life will end, but really, that is just the beginning. Death is liberty from this life and body to be with Christ. We must endure to the end though for the glory of God. As Micah 6:8 states "He has shown you oh man what is good, and what does the Lord require of you but to do good, to love kindness and mercy; and to humble yourself and walk humbly with your God".
Walk with God. Sometimes life will seem pointless, sometimes you will feel like you have no influence or impact - live life anyway, talk anyway. Your reward, as a Christian, is from God alone. Work under His watchful eye, preach for the audience of one. "Why do you fear man who can only kill the body?" asked Christ. "I tell you who you should fear, fear God who has the power to kill both body and soul in hell". Fear God not man. Life is a limited commodity. Immortality belongs to those truly acquainted with Christ but not the majority that don't. Preach the gospel by any means. That Christ died to save sinners. This message alone is the reason we breath. Nothing else matters while billions are en-route to an eternal hell. No time invested in God is wasted. In fact, only the time invested in God is worth any value at all. Peace.
Tuesday, 10 June 2014
The Old Cross & The New - A.W. Tozer
Unannounced and mostly undetected there has come in modern times a
new cross into popular evangelical circles. It is like the old cross,
but different: the likenesses are superficial; the differences,
fundamental.
From this new cross has sprung a new philosophy of the Christian life, and from that new philosophy has come a new evangelical technique-a new type of meeting and a new kind of preaching. This new evangelism employs the same language as the old, but its content is not the same and its emphasis not as before.
The old cross would have no truck with the world. For Adam's proud flesh it meant the end of the journey. It carried into effect the sentence imposed by the law of Sinai. The new cross is not opposed to the human race; rather, it is a friendly pal and, if understood aright, it is the source of oceans of good clean fun and innocent enjoyment. It lets Adam live without interference. His life motivation is unchanged; he still lives for his own pleasure, only now he takes delight in singing choruses and watching religious movies instead of singing bawdy songs and drinking hard liquor. The accent is still on enjoyment, though the fun is now on a higher plane morally if not intellectually.
The new cross encourages a new and entirely different evangelistic approach. The evangelist does not demand abnegation of the old life before a new life can be received. He preaches not contrasts but similarities. He seeks to key into public interest by showing that Christianity makes no unpleasant demands; rather, it offers the same thing the world does, only on a higher level. Whatever the sin-mad world happens to be clamoring after at the moment is cleverly shown to be the very thing the gospel offers, only the religious product is better.
The new cross does not slay the sinner, it redirects him. It gears him into a cleaner anal jollier way of living and saves his self-respect. To the self-assertive it says, "Come and assert yourself for Christ." To the egotist it says, "Come and do your boasting in the Lord." To the thrillseeker it says, "Come and enjoy the thrill of Christian fellowship." The Christian message is slanted in the direction of the current vogue in order to make it acceptable to the public.
The philosophy back of this kind of thing may be sincere but its sincerity does not save it from being false. It is false because it is blind. It misses completely the whole meaning of the cross.
The old cross is a symbol of death. It stands for the abrupt, violent end of a human being. The man in Roman times who took up his cross and started down the road had already said good-by to his friends. He was not coming back. He was going out to have it ended. The cross made no compromise, modified nothing, spared nothing; it slew all of the man, completely and for good. It did not try to keep on good terms with its victim. It struck cruel and hard, and when it had finished its work, the man was no more.
The race of Adam is under death sentence. There is no commutation and no escape. God cannot approve any of the fruits of sin, however innocent they may appear or beautiful to the eyes of men. God salvages the individual by liquidating him and then raising him again to newness of life.
That evangelism which draws friendly parallels between the ways of God and the ways of men is false to the Bible and cruel to the souls of its hearers. The faith of Christ does not parallel the world, it intersects it. In coming to Christ we do not bring our old life up onto a higher plane; we leave it at the cross. The corn of wheat must fall into the ground and die.
We who preach the gospel must not think of ourselves as public relations agents sent to establish good will between Christ and the world. We must not imagine ourselves commissioned to make Christ acceptable to big business, the press, the world of sports or modern education. We are not diplomats but prophets, and our message is not a compromise but an ultimatum.
God offers life, but not an improved old life. The life He offers is life out of death. It stands always on the far side of the cross. Whoever would possess it must pass under the rod. He must repudiate himself and concur in God's just sentence against him.
What does this mean to the individual, the condemned man who would find life in Christ Jesus? How can this theology be translated into life? Simply, he must repent and believe. He must forsake his sins and then go on to forsake himself. Let him cover nothing, defend nothing, excuse nothing. Let him not seek to make terms with God, but let him bow his head before the stroke of God's stern displeasure and acknowledge himself worthy to die.
Having done this let him gaze with simple trust upon the risen Saviour, and from Him will come life and rebirth and cleansing and power. The cross that ended the earthly life of Jesus now puts an end to the sinner; and the power that raised Christ from the dead now raises him to a new life along with Christ.
To any who may object to this or count it merely a narrow and private view of truth, let me say God has set His hallmark of approval upon this message from Paul's day to the present. Whether stated in these exact words or not, this has been the content of all preaching that has brought life and power to the world through the centuries. The mystics, the reformers, the revivalists have put their emphasis here, and signs and wonders and mighty operations of the Holy Ghost gave witness to God's approval.
Dare we, the heirs of such a legacy of power, tamper with the truth? Dare we with our stubby pencils erase the lines of the blueprint or alter the pattern shown us in the Mount? May God forbid. Let us preach the old cross and we will know the old power.
This was taken from "Man - the dwelling place of God" by A.W. Tozer - a man of God.
From this new cross has sprung a new philosophy of the Christian life, and from that new philosophy has come a new evangelical technique-a new type of meeting and a new kind of preaching. This new evangelism employs the same language as the old, but its content is not the same and its emphasis not as before.
The old cross would have no truck with the world. For Adam's proud flesh it meant the end of the journey. It carried into effect the sentence imposed by the law of Sinai. The new cross is not opposed to the human race; rather, it is a friendly pal and, if understood aright, it is the source of oceans of good clean fun and innocent enjoyment. It lets Adam live without interference. His life motivation is unchanged; he still lives for his own pleasure, only now he takes delight in singing choruses and watching religious movies instead of singing bawdy songs and drinking hard liquor. The accent is still on enjoyment, though the fun is now on a higher plane morally if not intellectually.
The new cross encourages a new and entirely different evangelistic approach. The evangelist does not demand abnegation of the old life before a new life can be received. He preaches not contrasts but similarities. He seeks to key into public interest by showing that Christianity makes no unpleasant demands; rather, it offers the same thing the world does, only on a higher level. Whatever the sin-mad world happens to be clamoring after at the moment is cleverly shown to be the very thing the gospel offers, only the religious product is better.
The new cross does not slay the sinner, it redirects him. It gears him into a cleaner anal jollier way of living and saves his self-respect. To the self-assertive it says, "Come and assert yourself for Christ." To the egotist it says, "Come and do your boasting in the Lord." To the thrillseeker it says, "Come and enjoy the thrill of Christian fellowship." The Christian message is slanted in the direction of the current vogue in order to make it acceptable to the public.
The philosophy back of this kind of thing may be sincere but its sincerity does not save it from being false. It is false because it is blind. It misses completely the whole meaning of the cross.
The old cross is a symbol of death. It stands for the abrupt, violent end of a human being. The man in Roman times who took up his cross and started down the road had already said good-by to his friends. He was not coming back. He was going out to have it ended. The cross made no compromise, modified nothing, spared nothing; it slew all of the man, completely and for good. It did not try to keep on good terms with its victim. It struck cruel and hard, and when it had finished its work, the man was no more.
The race of Adam is under death sentence. There is no commutation and no escape. God cannot approve any of the fruits of sin, however innocent they may appear or beautiful to the eyes of men. God salvages the individual by liquidating him and then raising him again to newness of life.
That evangelism which draws friendly parallels between the ways of God and the ways of men is false to the Bible and cruel to the souls of its hearers. The faith of Christ does not parallel the world, it intersects it. In coming to Christ we do not bring our old life up onto a higher plane; we leave it at the cross. The corn of wheat must fall into the ground and die.
We who preach the gospel must not think of ourselves as public relations agents sent to establish good will between Christ and the world. We must not imagine ourselves commissioned to make Christ acceptable to big business, the press, the world of sports or modern education. We are not diplomats but prophets, and our message is not a compromise but an ultimatum.
God offers life, but not an improved old life. The life He offers is life out of death. It stands always on the far side of the cross. Whoever would possess it must pass under the rod. He must repudiate himself and concur in God's just sentence against him.
What does this mean to the individual, the condemned man who would find life in Christ Jesus? How can this theology be translated into life? Simply, he must repent and believe. He must forsake his sins and then go on to forsake himself. Let him cover nothing, defend nothing, excuse nothing. Let him not seek to make terms with God, but let him bow his head before the stroke of God's stern displeasure and acknowledge himself worthy to die.
Having done this let him gaze with simple trust upon the risen Saviour, and from Him will come life and rebirth and cleansing and power. The cross that ended the earthly life of Jesus now puts an end to the sinner; and the power that raised Christ from the dead now raises him to a new life along with Christ.
To any who may object to this or count it merely a narrow and private view of truth, let me say God has set His hallmark of approval upon this message from Paul's day to the present. Whether stated in these exact words or not, this has been the content of all preaching that has brought life and power to the world through the centuries. The mystics, the reformers, the revivalists have put their emphasis here, and signs and wonders and mighty operations of the Holy Ghost gave witness to God's approval.
Dare we, the heirs of such a legacy of power, tamper with the truth? Dare we with our stubby pencils erase the lines of the blueprint or alter the pattern shown us in the Mount? May God forbid. Let us preach the old cross and we will know the old power.
This was taken from "Man - the dwelling place of God" by A.W. Tozer - a man of God.
Sunday, 1 June 2014
A Critique of the Emergent Church
The emergent church has gained traction over the past two decades. I see it as a missional response to our post-modern society, where truth basically is said to be unknowable - aka postmodernism. Some churches have adapted to this culture in an attempt to be relevant. Taking a non dogmatic relational approach they seek to engage with society. To an extant, it works. Crowds are drawn, mega churches are born and preachers become celebrities. I see the movements purpose, but I fear it over compensates one extreme to the detriment of the other. My father always told me, wisdom is in the middle way - in balance, in moderation. I really think that is Gods method. An overemphasis on a truth or underemphasis is just as incorrect as a lie. Its a distortion of the truth. We should seek truth in its right proportions and to deliver that truth accordingly.
We can see two faces in the church. One face is the traditional, those that sing hymns and focus on holiness, those who are conservative, who generally take scripture at face value. The other face are the liberals, those who think scripture is primarily a metaphor, who generally are more morally lax but more socially active - in the sense of social justice, such as ending poverty and the like. The liberals may deny the foundations of the faith, like Jesus' resurrection, virgin birth etc. At which point, it is safe to say they cease being 'christian' and begin being a person simply morally inspired by the bible. Of course there are 20 thousand shades of grey between these two faces but that is the reality.
I see the emergent church as liberal leaning in ideology. Its focus is purposefully ambiguous so as to inspire but never confront or challenge. This is something I struggle with comprehending. Personally I feel like a judgmental stereotypical 'conservative' saying that. When I hear the names of emergent leaders anger kindles in my heart. Why? Because I feel the truth is being distorted and maligned. People are taught that the bible wasn't addressed to you so there really is no way it is knowable to you personally. Most just wink at this though. I sincerely ask myself - am I just conceited? Am I just full of pride and want to feel superior so I critique? I don't believe so. I just value truth and see the movement as an enemy of the truth. The aposlte warned of a time when people would heap teachers up for themselves to be taught what they wanted to be taught not truth.
I believe the church should be culturally relevant - with modern worship, understandable biblical translations (though still literal interpretations). I believe the theology taught and messages preached should not merely be biblically inspired but saturated with scripture - not cliche feel good motivational messages irrelevant to the text, but explanations of a chapter. It seems as though its one or the other. Either it is saturated with scripture, holiness is encouraged but the church is so bland and disconnected from society or the church is so blended with society you cant tell the difference between the church and the world. Scripture is never quoted, but its a cool scene with nice friendly people seeking social justice. What I don't get with the latter is that you don't need to be a christian to do any of that. Plenty of my secular friends are really cool, friendly and seek social justice too. As I write this I am currently disillusioned with churches for the reasons listed and don't attend one. I realize I should but its hard searching for a good one. One that is both relevant and faithful to scripture.
So why can't I return to my old church? I have many friends there. I may have fought with a pastor but I've moved on. That said I believe the reasons that I left - the root problems of many emergent churches are completely unaddressed and I believe I would just walk out every Sunday frustrated with the lack of scripture actually taught. Here's a question...is it pivotal that a good amount of scripture is taught on a Sunday? Am I just nitpicking at a minor problem? Or is this reason enough to have left? It is a very subjective question. Personally I am of the opinion the primary purpose of an organized church is the proclamation of the gospel and teaching the word of God. To others its 'being' the church and building relationships. Of course its both, and you cant have one without the other. But if I believe the bible isn't proclaimed and the word is barely taught - what is the point of building relationships? Some say to talk about scripture - and that happens sometimes yes, but the controversial issues people avoid. The very issues that need to be talked about are frequently swept under the rug. People want low key, entertainment oriented relationships - they don't want to be dragged into theological and philosophical discussion. Politics and religion are the taboo subjects of our society - polite company will never bring these issues up to be discussed. How ever so draining it is to be the token spiritual guy to constantly be bringing these topics up too. That is why preaching these messages and addressing these topics from the pulpit is ideal. People wont be surprised - its one of the prime reasons a pastor exists - to preach the word.
And there in lies the problem, the pulpit wont discuss issues and hard scriptures nor will friendships. What about Jesus' prohibition on divorce and remarriage - that never is talked about nor ever will be, for fear of offending someone. Divorce occurred enough in Jesus' day too. It was legal. And Jesus raised the bar and said don't do it. What about lust with the eyes - an even more common one. Bringing these issues up sharpens us, warns us, rebukes us. So many topics are taboo to discuss in churches and in society. Why? because social unity is valued above proclamation of the truth. As someone once said to me when commenting on the emergent churches massive focus on social justice with minimal gospel preaching: "the emergent churches mission is to make people more comfortable on their way to hell". Which is the truth. What are riches when they turn to ash when you die and descend into hell not knowing Christ and never being taught the gospel? Jesus said to some poor people "Do not work for the food that spoils [or perishes], but for food that endures to eternal life, which the Son of Man will give you. On him God the Father has placed his seal of approval." (John 6:27 NIV).
The church exists to proclaim the way of salvation, our reconciliation with God through trusting in the death burial and resurrection of Jesus for our sins. In Him is our righteousness found, our hope for eternal life, the works we do here on earth profit nothing, law keeping, alms giving etc. These we do for love for Him who gave His life for us. Social justice is the fruit of salvation - it isn't salvation. Nor is mere church membership. That's for another post though. To be in relationship with Christ is eternal life.
Sunday, 11 May 2014
On Happiness and Truth - Excerpts from Augustine
Only a few people will
probably appreciate or relate to the following excerpts. These citations
struck a chord in me and anyone who has lived has experienced life's
feeling of vanity and pointlessness at sometime in their
life...especially if they ever have just stopped to contemplate it. To
think this man died 1700 years ago yet his experiences are so commonly
felt. Life never really changes. His thoughts are on the pursuit of
both truth and happiness in life. Always pursuing but never attaining.
Augustine's " Confessions"
Book 6 - Seeking Truth
CHAPTER XI - Frustrated and Aimless
18. And I especially puzzled and wondered when I remembered how long a time had passed since my nineteenth year, in which I had first fallen in love with wisdom and had determined as soon as I could find her to abandon the empty hopes and mad delusions of vain desires. Behold, I was now getting close to thirty, still stuck fast in the same mire, still greedy of enjoying present goods which fly away and distract me; and I was still saying, “Tomorrow I shall discover it; behold, it will become plain, and I shall see it; behold, Faustus will come and explain everything.” Or I would say Here begins a long soliloquy which sums up his turmoil over the past decade and his present plight of confusion and indecision.”O you mighty Academics, is there no certainty that man can grasp for the guidance of his life? No, let us search the more diligently, and let us not despair. See, the things in the Church’s books that appeared so absurd to us before do not appear so now, and may be otherwise and honestly interpreted. I will set my feet upon that step where, as a child, my parents placed me, until the clear truth is discovered. But where and when shall it be sought? Ambrose has no leisure--we have no leisure to read. Where are we to find the books? How or where could I get hold of them? From whom could I borrow them? Let me set a schedule for my days and set apart certain hours for the health of the soul. A great hope has risen up in us, because the Catholic faith does not teach what we thought it did, and vainly accused it of. Its teachers hold it as an abomination to believe that God is limited by the form of a human body. And do I doubt that I should ‘knock’ in order for the rest also to be ‘opened’ unto me? My pupils take up the morning hours; what am I doing with the rest of the day? Why not do this? But, then, when am I to visit my influential friends, whose favors I need? When am I to prepare the orations that I sell to the class? When would I get some recreation and relax my mind from the strain of work?
19. “Perish everything and let us dismiss these idle triflings. Let me devote myself solely to the search for truth. This life is unhappy, death uncertain. If it comes upon me suddenly, in what state shall I go hence and where shall I learn what here I have neglected? Should I not indeed suffer the punishment of my negligence here? But suppose death cuts off and finishes all care and feeling. This too is a question that calls for inquiry. God forbid that it should be so. It is not without reason, it is not in vain, that the stately authority of the Christian faith has spread over the entire world, and God would never have done such great things for us if the life of the soul perished with the death of the body. Why, therefore, do I delay in abandoning my hopes of this world and giving myself wholly to seek after God and the blessed life?
“But wait a moment. This life also is pleasant, and it has a sweetness of its own, not at all negligible. We must not abandon it lightly, for it would be shameful to lapse back into it again. See now, it is important to gain some post of honor. And what more should I desire? I have crowds of influential friends, if nothing else; and, if I push my claims, a governorship may be offered me, and a wife with some money, so that she would not be an added expense. This would be the height of my desire. Many men, who are great and worthy of imitation, have combined the pursuit of wisdom with a marriage life.”
20. While I talked about these things, and the winds of opinions veered about and tossed my heart hither and thither, time was slipping away. I delayed my conversion to the Lord; I postponed from day to day the life in thee, but I could not postpone the daily death in myself. I was enamored of a happy life, but I still feared to seek it in its own abode, and so I fled from it while I sought it. I thought I should be miserable if I were deprived of the embraces of a woman, and I never gave a thought to the medicine that thy mercy has provided for the healing of that infirmity, for I had never tried it. As for continence, I imagined that it depended on one’s own strength, though I found no such strength in myself, for in my folly I knew not what is written, “None can be continent unless thou dost grant it.”168168 Cf. Wis. 8:21 (LXX). Certainly thou wouldst have given it, if I had beseeched thy ears with heartfelt groaning, and if I had cast my care upon thee with firm faith.
----
CHAPTER VI - Lessons From a Drunken Beggar
9. I was still eagerly aspiring to honors, money, and matrimony; but You mocked me. In pursuit of these ambitions I endured the most bitter hardships, in which you were being all the more gracious the less you would allow anything that was not you to grow sweet to me. Look into my heart, O Lord, whose prompting it is that I should recall all this, and confess it to you. Now let my soul cleave to you, now that you have freed me from that fast-sticking glue of death.
How wretched I was! And you did irritate my sore wound so that I might forsake all else and turn to you--who are above all and without whom all things would be nothing at all--so that I should be converted and healed. How wretched I was at that time, and how you did deal with me so as to make me aware of my wretchedness, I recall from the incident of the day on which I was preparing to recite a panegyric on the emperor. In it I was to deliver many a lie, and the lying was to be applauded by those who knew I was lying. My heart was agitated with this sense of guilt and it seethed with the fever of my uneasiness. For, while walking along one of the streets of Milan, I saw a poor beggar--with what I believe was a full belly--joking and hilarious. And I sighed and spoke to the friends around me of the many sorrows that flowed from our madness, because in spite of all our exertions--such as those I was then laboring in, dragging the burden of my unhappiness under the spur of ambition, and, by dragging it, increasing it at the same time--still and all we aimed only to attain that very happiness which this beggar had reached before us; and there was a grim chance that we should never attain it! For what he had obtained through a few coins, got by his begging, I was still scheming for by many a wretched and tortuous turning--namely, the joy of a passing felicity. He had not, indeed, gained true joy, but, at the same time, with all my ambitions, I was seeking one still more untrue. Anyhow, he was now joyous and I was anxious. He was free from care, and I was full of alarms.
Seeking True Happiness
Now, if anyone should inquire of me whether I should prefer to be merry or anxious, I would reply, “Merry.” Again, if I had been asked whether I should prefer to be as he was or as I myself then was, I would have chosen to be myself; though I was beset with cares and alarms. But would not this have been a false choice? Was the contrast valid? Actually, I ought not to prefer myself to him because I happened to be more learned than he was; for I got no great pleasure from my learning, but sought, rather, to please men by its exhibition--and this not to instruct, but only to please. Thus you did break my bones with the rod of your correction.
10. Let my soul take its leave of those who say: “It makes a difference as to the object from which a man derives his joy. The beggar rejoiced in drunkenness; you longed to rejoice in glory.” What glory, O Lord? The kind that is not in thee, for, just as his was no true joy, so was mine no true glory; but it turned my head all the more. He would get over his drunkenness that same night, but I had slept with mine many a night and risen again with it, and was to sleep again and rise again with it, I know not how many times. It does indeed make a difference as to the object from which a man’s joy is gained. I know this is so, and I know that the joy of a faithful hope is incomparably beyond such vanity. Yet, at the same time, this beggar was beyond me, for he truly was the happier man--not only because he was thoroughly steeped in his mirth while I was torn to pieces with my cares, but because he had gotten his wine by giving good wishes to the passers-by while I was following after the ambition of my pride by lying. Much to this effect I said to my good companions, and I saw how readily they reacted pretty much as I did. Thus I found that it went ill with me; and I fretted, and doubled that very ill. And if any prosperity smiled upon me, I loathed to seize it, for almost before I could grasp it, it would fly away.
Taken From Book 6 - Seeking Truth , chapters 11 and 6, "The Confessions of St. Augustine" - by Augustine
He concludes extensively in book 10 that the happy life is one lived in the truth. Therefore God Himself is the source of true happiness. Heres an excerpt:
Book 10 - Probing the Depths of Self
Chapter23 - The Quest for Happiness Leads to Truth
33. Is it, then, uncertain that all men wish to be happy, since those who do not wish to find their joy in thee--which is alone the happy life--do not actually desire the happy life? Or, is it rather that all desire this, but because “the flesh lusts against the spirit and the spirit against the flesh,” so that they “prevent you from doing what you would,”342342 Gal. 5:17. you fall to doing what you are able to do and are content with that. For you do not want to do what you cannot do urgently enough to make you able to do it.
Now I ask all men whether they would rather rejoice in truth or in falsehood. They will no more hesitate to answer, “In truth,” than to say that they wish to be happy. For a happy life is joy in the truth. Yet this is joy in thee, who art the Truth, O God my Light, “the health of my countenance and my God. All wish for this happy life; all wish for this life which is the only happy one: joy in the truth is what all men wish.
I have had experience with many who wished to deceive, but not one who wished to be deceived. Where, then, did they ever know about this happy life, except where they knew also what the truth is? For they love it, too, since they are not willing to be deceived. And when they love the happy life, which is nothing else but joy in the truth, then certainly they also love the truth. And yet they would not love it if there were not some knowledge of it in the memory.
Men Hate the Truth
Why, then, do they not rejoice in it? Why are they not happy? Because they are so fully preoccupied with other things which do more to make them miserable than those which would make them happy, which they remember so little about. Yet there is a little light in men. Let them walk--let them walk in it, lest the darkness overtake them.
34. Why, then, does truth generate hatred, and why does thy servant who preaches the truth come to be an enemy to them who also love the happy life, which is nothing else than joy in the truth--unless it be that truth is loved in such a way that those who love something else besides her wish that to be the truth which they do love. Since they are unwilling to be deceived, they are unwilling to be convinced that they have been deceived. Therefore, they hate the truth for the sake of whatever it is that they love in place of the truth. They love truth when she shines on them; and hate her when she rebukes them. And since they are not willing to be deceived, but do wish to deceive, they love truth when she reveals herself and hate her when she reveals them. On this account, she will so repay them that those who are unwilling to be exposed by her she will indeed expose against their will, and yet will not disclose herself to them.
Thus, thus, truly thus: the human mind so blind and sick, so base and ill-mannered, desires to lie hidden, but does not wish that anything should be hidden from it. And yet the opposite is what happens--the mind itself is not hidden from the truth, but the truth is hidden from it. Yet even so, for all its wretchedness, it still prefers to rejoice in truth rather than in known falsehoods. It will, then, be happy only when without other distractions it comes to rejoice in that single Truth through which all things else are true.
I found this convicting. I see myself in the subject of his writing. In fact I find his book convicting. Hard hitting words. The inner journey of a mans pursuit of happiness...something we all seek yet few attain, and if they do its fleeting. He found a constant source of it....joy in truth, joy in God. Yet as he states, men hate truth and to pursue God , to pursue actual solid happiness in God inevitably leads to a marginalized life in a minority going against the grain causing friction...which is a major source of misery in itself. Catch 22 I guess.
Augustine's " Confessions"
Book 6 - Seeking Truth
CHAPTER XI - Frustrated and Aimless
18. And I especially puzzled and wondered when I remembered how long a time had passed since my nineteenth year, in which I had first fallen in love with wisdom and had determined as soon as I could find her to abandon the empty hopes and mad delusions of vain desires. Behold, I was now getting close to thirty, still stuck fast in the same mire, still greedy of enjoying present goods which fly away and distract me; and I was still saying, “Tomorrow I shall discover it; behold, it will become plain, and I shall see it; behold, Faustus will come and explain everything.” Or I would say Here begins a long soliloquy which sums up his turmoil over the past decade and his present plight of confusion and indecision.”O you mighty Academics, is there no certainty that man can grasp for the guidance of his life? No, let us search the more diligently, and let us not despair. See, the things in the Church’s books that appeared so absurd to us before do not appear so now, and may be otherwise and honestly interpreted. I will set my feet upon that step where, as a child, my parents placed me, until the clear truth is discovered. But where and when shall it be sought? Ambrose has no leisure--we have no leisure to read. Where are we to find the books? How or where could I get hold of them? From whom could I borrow them? Let me set a schedule for my days and set apart certain hours for the health of the soul. A great hope has risen up in us, because the Catholic faith does not teach what we thought it did, and vainly accused it of. Its teachers hold it as an abomination to believe that God is limited by the form of a human body. And do I doubt that I should ‘knock’ in order for the rest also to be ‘opened’ unto me? My pupils take up the morning hours; what am I doing with the rest of the day? Why not do this? But, then, when am I to visit my influential friends, whose favors I need? When am I to prepare the orations that I sell to the class? When would I get some recreation and relax my mind from the strain of work?
19. “Perish everything and let us dismiss these idle triflings. Let me devote myself solely to the search for truth. This life is unhappy, death uncertain. If it comes upon me suddenly, in what state shall I go hence and where shall I learn what here I have neglected? Should I not indeed suffer the punishment of my negligence here? But suppose death cuts off and finishes all care and feeling. This too is a question that calls for inquiry. God forbid that it should be so. It is not without reason, it is not in vain, that the stately authority of the Christian faith has spread over the entire world, and God would never have done such great things for us if the life of the soul perished with the death of the body. Why, therefore, do I delay in abandoning my hopes of this world and giving myself wholly to seek after God and the blessed life?
“But wait a moment. This life also is pleasant, and it has a sweetness of its own, not at all negligible. We must not abandon it lightly, for it would be shameful to lapse back into it again. See now, it is important to gain some post of honor. And what more should I desire? I have crowds of influential friends, if nothing else; and, if I push my claims, a governorship may be offered me, and a wife with some money, so that she would not be an added expense. This would be the height of my desire. Many men, who are great and worthy of imitation, have combined the pursuit of wisdom with a marriage life.”
20. While I talked about these things, and the winds of opinions veered about and tossed my heart hither and thither, time was slipping away. I delayed my conversion to the Lord; I postponed from day to day the life in thee, but I could not postpone the daily death in myself. I was enamored of a happy life, but I still feared to seek it in its own abode, and so I fled from it while I sought it. I thought I should be miserable if I were deprived of the embraces of a woman, and I never gave a thought to the medicine that thy mercy has provided for the healing of that infirmity, for I had never tried it. As for continence, I imagined that it depended on one’s own strength, though I found no such strength in myself, for in my folly I knew not what is written, “None can be continent unless thou dost grant it.”168168 Cf. Wis. 8:21 (LXX). Certainly thou wouldst have given it, if I had beseeched thy ears with heartfelt groaning, and if I had cast my care upon thee with firm faith.
----
CHAPTER VI - Lessons From a Drunken Beggar
9. I was still eagerly aspiring to honors, money, and matrimony; but You mocked me. In pursuit of these ambitions I endured the most bitter hardships, in which you were being all the more gracious the less you would allow anything that was not you to grow sweet to me. Look into my heart, O Lord, whose prompting it is that I should recall all this, and confess it to you. Now let my soul cleave to you, now that you have freed me from that fast-sticking glue of death.
How wretched I was! And you did irritate my sore wound so that I might forsake all else and turn to you--who are above all and without whom all things would be nothing at all--so that I should be converted and healed. How wretched I was at that time, and how you did deal with me so as to make me aware of my wretchedness, I recall from the incident of the day on which I was preparing to recite a panegyric on the emperor. In it I was to deliver many a lie, and the lying was to be applauded by those who knew I was lying. My heart was agitated with this sense of guilt and it seethed with the fever of my uneasiness. For, while walking along one of the streets of Milan, I saw a poor beggar--with what I believe was a full belly--joking and hilarious. And I sighed and spoke to the friends around me of the many sorrows that flowed from our madness, because in spite of all our exertions--such as those I was then laboring in, dragging the burden of my unhappiness under the spur of ambition, and, by dragging it, increasing it at the same time--still and all we aimed only to attain that very happiness which this beggar had reached before us; and there was a grim chance that we should never attain it! For what he had obtained through a few coins, got by his begging, I was still scheming for by many a wretched and tortuous turning--namely, the joy of a passing felicity. He had not, indeed, gained true joy, but, at the same time, with all my ambitions, I was seeking one still more untrue. Anyhow, he was now joyous and I was anxious. He was free from care, and I was full of alarms.
Seeking True Happiness
Now, if anyone should inquire of me whether I should prefer to be merry or anxious, I would reply, “Merry.” Again, if I had been asked whether I should prefer to be as he was or as I myself then was, I would have chosen to be myself; though I was beset with cares and alarms. But would not this have been a false choice? Was the contrast valid? Actually, I ought not to prefer myself to him because I happened to be more learned than he was; for I got no great pleasure from my learning, but sought, rather, to please men by its exhibition--and this not to instruct, but only to please. Thus you did break my bones with the rod of your correction.
10. Let my soul take its leave of those who say: “It makes a difference as to the object from which a man derives his joy. The beggar rejoiced in drunkenness; you longed to rejoice in glory.” What glory, O Lord? The kind that is not in thee, for, just as his was no true joy, so was mine no true glory; but it turned my head all the more. He would get over his drunkenness that same night, but I had slept with mine many a night and risen again with it, and was to sleep again and rise again with it, I know not how many times. It does indeed make a difference as to the object from which a man’s joy is gained. I know this is so, and I know that the joy of a faithful hope is incomparably beyond such vanity. Yet, at the same time, this beggar was beyond me, for he truly was the happier man--not only because he was thoroughly steeped in his mirth while I was torn to pieces with my cares, but because he had gotten his wine by giving good wishes to the passers-by while I was following after the ambition of my pride by lying. Much to this effect I said to my good companions, and I saw how readily they reacted pretty much as I did. Thus I found that it went ill with me; and I fretted, and doubled that very ill. And if any prosperity smiled upon me, I loathed to seize it, for almost before I could grasp it, it would fly away.
Taken From Book 6 - Seeking Truth , chapters 11 and 6, "The Confessions of St. Augustine" - by Augustine
He concludes extensively in book 10 that the happy life is one lived in the truth. Therefore God Himself is the source of true happiness. Heres an excerpt:
Book 10 - Probing the Depths of Self
Chapter23 - The Quest for Happiness Leads to Truth
33. Is it, then, uncertain that all men wish to be happy, since those who do not wish to find their joy in thee--which is alone the happy life--do not actually desire the happy life? Or, is it rather that all desire this, but because “the flesh lusts against the spirit and the spirit against the flesh,” so that they “prevent you from doing what you would,”342342 Gal. 5:17. you fall to doing what you are able to do and are content with that. For you do not want to do what you cannot do urgently enough to make you able to do it.
Now I ask all men whether they would rather rejoice in truth or in falsehood. They will no more hesitate to answer, “In truth,” than to say that they wish to be happy. For a happy life is joy in the truth. Yet this is joy in thee, who art the Truth, O God my Light, “the health of my countenance and my God. All wish for this happy life; all wish for this life which is the only happy one: joy in the truth is what all men wish.
I have had experience with many who wished to deceive, but not one who wished to be deceived. Where, then, did they ever know about this happy life, except where they knew also what the truth is? For they love it, too, since they are not willing to be deceived. And when they love the happy life, which is nothing else but joy in the truth, then certainly they also love the truth. And yet they would not love it if there were not some knowledge of it in the memory.
Men Hate the Truth
Why, then, do they not rejoice in it? Why are they not happy? Because they are so fully preoccupied with other things which do more to make them miserable than those which would make them happy, which they remember so little about. Yet there is a little light in men. Let them walk--let them walk in it, lest the darkness overtake them.
34. Why, then, does truth generate hatred, and why does thy servant who preaches the truth come to be an enemy to them who also love the happy life, which is nothing else than joy in the truth--unless it be that truth is loved in such a way that those who love something else besides her wish that to be the truth which they do love. Since they are unwilling to be deceived, they are unwilling to be convinced that they have been deceived. Therefore, they hate the truth for the sake of whatever it is that they love in place of the truth. They love truth when she shines on them; and hate her when she rebukes them. And since they are not willing to be deceived, but do wish to deceive, they love truth when she reveals herself and hate her when she reveals them. On this account, she will so repay them that those who are unwilling to be exposed by her she will indeed expose against their will, and yet will not disclose herself to them.
Thus, thus, truly thus: the human mind so blind and sick, so base and ill-mannered, desires to lie hidden, but does not wish that anything should be hidden from it. And yet the opposite is what happens--the mind itself is not hidden from the truth, but the truth is hidden from it. Yet even so, for all its wretchedness, it still prefers to rejoice in truth rather than in known falsehoods. It will, then, be happy only when without other distractions it comes to rejoice in that single Truth through which all things else are true.
I found this convicting. I see myself in the subject of his writing. In fact I find his book convicting. Hard hitting words. The inner journey of a mans pursuit of happiness...something we all seek yet few attain, and if they do its fleeting. He found a constant source of it....joy in truth, joy in God. Yet as he states, men hate truth and to pursue God , to pursue actual solid happiness in God inevitably leads to a marginalized life in a minority going against the grain causing friction...which is a major source of misery in itself. Catch 22 I guess.
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